Dahhh…

WOW. It’s been a while since I’ve been on here.  Lately I’ve been struggling with lack of contentment.  I’ve just been unhappy with where I am at life, almost bitter even.  Things are not really that bad, I don’t know why I’ve been so unhappy lately.

Today started off badly.  I overslept by almost an hour, waking up at 8:30, still exhausted from the night before.  If my Blackberry wasn’t buzzing, I probably would’ve slept for at least another hour.  I checked the message on my Blackberry… f(@#$(… I seriously messed up on what I was working on the night before… I get ready as fast as humanly possible, taking a 5 minute shower and throwing on whatever’s available on the top of my clothes pile.  Flying down the freeway at 85-90 miles an hour gets me to work just before 9.  Dahh I’m pretty late… guess I’ll have to park in the garage today. $1.25 an hour… the penalty for tardiness.  I arrived at work to find the problem had already been fixed… but that in itself is a problem… the work I was doing last night was supposed to be sort of hush hush…. now several people know, there may be fallout later…

The rest of the morning goes by surprisingly uneventfully.  I have a ton of stuff to do, but not feeling much motivation to do it.  Wow I just remembered, it’s Tuesday.  Small group day.  It feels like forever since we met.  Doh… haven’t read the chapter yet.  Another thing to do.  Maybe I’ll get to it at lunch time.  Luckily the book’s in my car.  Blah… but I really don’t feel like reading.

1050am.  My stomach is telling me it’s lunch time. Or it’s just pissed cuz I skipped breakfast and didn’t have much of a dinner yesterday.  Ok ok… a nice big stamina ramen should appease it…. At 11 I leave for Akebono, arriving there at 11:10.  DAAAAHHH… what the heck, they open at 11:30?  I don’t have enough time for this… I decide to try the place next door.  Happy Corner it’s called. Hmm.. it’s quiet.  Maybe I will actually read the chapter.  The chapter is called, A DEE DAH DAY.  It begins with a quote.

Joy is the serious business of heaven. – C. S. Lewis

Wow it’s pretty ironic that I’m reading about joy when I’m feeling joyless, in a restaurant called Happy Corner.  Maybe it’s a sign?

This passage really stuck me… It’s so good that I’ll actually type it out now so I can read it again later.

The first step for pursuing joy is simply to begin now. The psalmist says, “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” He doesn’t say, “Yesterday was God’s day–how happy I was then.” Nor does he say, “Tomorrow will be the great day– I’ll just endure until then.” This day, with all it’s shortcomings, is the great Dee Dah Day.

We live with the illusion that joy will come someday when conditions change.  We go to school and think we will be happy when we graduate.  We are single and are convinced we will be happy when we get married.  We get married and decide we will be happy someday when we have children.  We will have children and decide we will be happy when they grow up and leave the nest– then they do, and we think we were happier when they were still at home.

If we don’t rejoice today, we will not rejoice at all.  If we wait until conditions are perfect, we will still be waiting when we die.  If we are going to rejoice, it must be in this day.  This is the day that the Lord has made.  This is the dee dah day.

From The Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg